"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."Ambrose Bierce
|
| |
Acknowledging the Existence of Your Soul
Talking about your "soul" and the deeper things in life is so frequently considered as spun out or weird in modern, take-away-eating, order-it-on-the-internet life, but if you are one of these people, you'll find that letting go of socialistic trends like ...
How is HGH Available?
HGH supplements are available in a variety of forms, including the HGH releaser, which is designed to help your body increase the production of natural growth hormone. But why should an adult need to include HGH dietary supplements in their daily ...
Too Busy for Relationships?
If you currently feel that you don't have enough friends in your life, one reason may be that you have let yourself become too busy to make time for the relationships you already have. Nurturing and maintaining friendships requires effort and ...
|
|
|
| |
From childhood we have been taught to explain our actions ("Why did you do that!?"). It was a bad lesson to learn, and it's time to un-learn it.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. I can give reasons, but I can't be sure they are accurate. Such ignorance is okay, or at least it should be. The temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual understanding. Let me explain...
Rationalization 101
John was hypnotised, and given the post-hypnotic instruction to get up and put on his coat whenever the doctor touched his nose. Once out of the trance, they talked. During the conversation, the doctor scratched his nose, and John immediately stood up and put on his coat.
The doctor asked him why. "Oh, I thought we were finished," John said, and he took off the coat. A minute later, the doctor touched his nose again. John again immediately stood up and put on his coat. "It's getting cold in here," he explained.
This scenario is not unique to hypnosis. There's a lot that goes into our decisions and actions, and we act as though we're aware of it all. Just like poor John, we feel compelled to explain ourselves - and to believe our explanations. Rationalization is one of our strongest habits.
I Don't Know
A child throws a plate at his brother, and his mother demands "Why would you do that!?" He says, "I don't know," which is true, but not acceptable. Pychologists couldn't, in five seconds, understand the child's action with certainty, but a six-year-old is expected to do just that.
He may not understand, but he learns quickly to explain himself. By adulthood, it is rare for any of us to say "I don't know" when asked about our behavior. There is a problem with that, though. How can we ever learn the true causes if we already accept our explanations?
Accepting Our Ignorance
A better way to approach these issues is to get in the habit of saying "I don't know." You can follow it with "Maybe it's because of..." and let the explanations spill out, but don't be too quick to accept any of them. Understand that it isn't always necessary to explain.
For example, even if you never know why you avoid a certain person, isn't it better to leave the question open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of self-justification? Leave questions unanswered, and you may someday have a better understanding. Quick answers mean a quick stop in your thinking.
Self-explanation can be the death of self-understanding. Learn to accept your ignorance, and to keep observing yourself. Just say , "I don't know.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You'll find more at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Tokii Brings Self-Help to Tech Forefront with Mobile AppExec Digital (press release)Canada-based online startup Tokii releases its mobile application for iOS devices today (the Android application will be available soon), revolutionizing the self-help space by bringing it from the popular Tokii.com web 2.0 platform into the rapidly ...and more » |
|
Self-help and Q-Net popularity lift QinetiQShareCastThe board proposed a final dividend of 2.00p, up 0.40p from the previous year, which the firm said reflected the achievement of its 24-months transformational self-help programme and confidence in the medium term. Following the self-help programme, ... |
|
Black Self-Help Book: A Fool's Errand?Washington InformerAlthough they could have remained in the middle-class American mainstream, the couple set about to inspire more support for Black-owned businesses; stimulate supplier diversity in corporate America; and to get Black households to make pledges of ... |
|
